(Text: “If you don’t understand my silence then you don’t deserve my words”)
Most of the time, there is something wrong. Maybe not at the moment but that’s because it’s hiding deep in our hearts.
Sometimes I am so distracted with my feelings I don’t pay attention to everything around me. When I am hurt, I don’t make it obvious; I hold it in, same with anger. Sometimes I’m glad people buy it, but other times, I want to see who can see through me. There is only one person who can. Only one person who knows and shares my pain. The only person who doesn’t ask me “what’s wrong” just for gossip. Okay, maybe two.
For me, it’s hard to trust people. I don’t share as much as people think I do. There are stuff I keep private. Not everything I tell you or post on tumblr and facebook are it (I may post up a lot of pictures but that’s not everything I do. Friends tell me to film, take pictures, and post them on youtube/facebook. I don’t want the whole world to know what I do, where I go, who I go out with, how I spend my weekends or whatever. Some people put their whole lives on youtube. I’d rather keep them to myself, but that’s just me.)
Anyway, it’s not that I don’t trust anybody. I do, some people. It’s just hard to spill anything to anyone if they don’t understand you. How do you expect me to tell you anything if you don’t understand humans (I won’t get into this)?
If I tell you I have a phobia/fear of pets and you laugh, how do you expect me to go on? I’ll just assume you don’t understand anything and stop there. Telling me it won’t bite or it’s cute won’t change the fact that I’m scared. If I tell you “My classes are so difficult, I’m dying,” and you compare my school/courses to yours… I don’t even…. Quoting Jesse Jackson, “Never look down on anyone unless you’re helping them up.”
Well… that’s MY rant of the night. I think I’m sick and I have to register for classes tomorrow.